Ask The Rabbi

Hide! It's the Bride!

The Color of HeavenArtscroll
Topic: Marriage, 7-day Separation of Bride & Groom

Alan Goldman wrote:

Dear Rabbi,

We live in Jerusalem and will be, G-d willing, marrying off two sons in the states this summer. Needless to say there are numerous challenges with this, one of which is schedules.

Regarding the bride & groom not seeing each other the week prior to the wedding: Potentially one of my sons will be getting married on Monday, August 26, and his brother will be married on Sunday, Sept. 1. Can the second bride attend the first wedding, seeing as this would fall within the seven day 'blackout' period?


Dear Alan Goldman,

The Bride and groom not seeing one another a week before the wedding is a custom which should be honored if possible.

One reason offered for this custom is to ensure that no petty argument erupt during what is potentially a stressful period.

Another reason: The seven-day separation enhances the bride and groom's endearment towards one another.

I asked two of Jerusalem's noted Poskim about your situation. Under the circumstances, your son's fiancee may attend the wedding, but she and her groom should avoid socializing with each other. Mazel Tov!

Sources:

  • See Rema Shulchan Aruch Even Haezer 55:1 See Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 192:1

 
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