Ask The Rabbi

A Family Dilemma

The Color of HeavenArtscroll
Topic: Intermarriage

C.D. (not her real name) wrote:

My husband is a Ba'al Teshuvah of many years. His family is basically "traditional" and his parents are recently divorced. His mother, with whom I am in contact daily, has begun dating and is seeing a non-Jew. I have a young son, and plan to have more children, G-d willing. I am not sure what to do. She is the only family that is living nearby and is very close with her grandson.

Thanks,


Intermarriage gravely affects not only the person mating with someone of a different faith, but also affects that person's family and other people as well.

You should therefore make every effort to convey to your mother-in-law the profound concern you have regarding her interest in a non-Jewish partner. Express how this may affect the contact that you and your husband will be able to maintain with her. In addition, explain how you will be uncomfortable in allowing your child to be with her. Should your efforts fail to dissuade her and she ends up living nearby with a non-Jewish spouse you may have to consider relocating in order to avoid the inevitable conflicts that arise when two generations of one family take such diverse routes in life.

In all your discussions with her please bear in mind the loneliness that drives her to such a desperate move, and encourage her to find her happiness within her own people.

 
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