Ask The Rabbi

The Boss's Bad Side

The Color of HeavenArtscroll
Topic: Embarrassment Caused by Asking Someone for Forgiveness

Name@Withheld from Miami, FL wrote:

Dear Rabbi,

On teshuvah (repentance), when one has sinned against another, it is not going to have been a pleasant experience. Judaism teaches us as individuals to "do" rather than to give lip service for something. Therefore, is it not better to just "do" and improve upon a sin rather than apologize and ask for forgiveness?

I think of a time when my employer and I had a heated discussion and things were said that were better left unsaid. While I feel the need for teshuvah through my disrespect of my employer, I feel that this can be accomplished by improving upon my work product and attitude, rather than re-visit a sensitive and bothersome approach. I would appreciate your insight.


Dear Name@Withheld,

Although you are correct regarding the main components of teshuvah, you also have an obligation to appease your employer if he still holds a grudge. However, it does not have to be in an embarrassing way; you can send chocolates or a bottle of whisky with a short note.


 
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