Ask The Rabbi
16 Sept. 1995
Issue #76
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This edition contains:
1.  A Modest Question about Sheitles
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Sheli Berger <berger@sleepy.softconn.co.za> wrote:

>Dear Rabbi,
>
>I understand the reason for married women covering their hair is modesty,
>yet today a lot of the sheitles (wigs) woman wear are nicer than their
>real hair.  I think the wearing of make-up can be viewed in the same
>manner.  It improves the person's appearance -- doesn't this contradict
>the laws of modesty?

* * * * * * * * * *

Dear Sheli Berger,

The Halachot of Tzniut -- modesty -- can be divided into two categories:
relative and absolute.

The Halachot of Tzniut which are absolute are the minimal Torah standard.
For example, the Talmud states that it is immodest for a man to listen to a
woman sing.  Similarly, a married woman should cover her hair, and all
women should cover the thigh and upper arm.  This means covering the elbow
and knee -- even when sitting.

The other aspect of Tzniut is the relative aspect, which changes based on
societal standards.  For example, in a place where the accepted style is to
wear skirts down to the ankles -- as was the style at the turn of the
century -- a mid-calf skirt would violate the laws of Tzniut.

This relative aspect of Tzniut applies only when the societal standard is
more demanding than the Torah's minimal standard, like in the case of the
long skirts.  But if, for instance, mini-skirts are in vogue, the Torah
standard would nevertheless require a woman to cover her knees.

What about wigs?  Actually, there are Poskim who forbid wigs.  Most people
today however follow the opinion that wigs do indeed fulfill the Torah's
requirement for a married woman to cover her hair.  After all, her hair is
covered, and if her wig is in keeping with the societal standards of
modesty, then it is OK for her to wear it.

Certainly one reason for modesty is in order not to act in a way that is
suggestive or alluring.  But any behavior which stands out, as if to say
"Look at me" is a lack of modesty.  For instance, if mid-calf skirts are in
style, someone who wears a floor length skirt, thinking she's being "more"
modest, might actually be doing the opposite.  By being different from
everyone else, she actually calls attention to herself!  Perhaps she wants
to be noted for her pious behavior, but the result  is a lack of Tzniut.

Tzniut is far more than a dress code.  A person's attitude towards Tzniut
reflects directly on his entire outlook, attitude, and approach to life.
Is he interested in externals and what others think of him; or is he
striving on an internal level, wondering what G-d thinks of him?  If a
person's main concern is to do what's right in G-d's eyes, he won't look at
life as though it's one big fashion show, and he won't be crushed if he's
not listed as one of People Magazine's "ten best dressed."

If a person chooses a wig called "Fantasma" or "Black Magic" this will be
easily discernible in her general appearance and the way she carries
herself.  The cut, color and the way the wig is worn project an image.  A
modest style projects modesty; a flashy one, flash.

That having been said, it should be noted that Tzniut doesn't require a
person to look like "Charlie Brown on Halloween."  When the Talmudic Sage
Abba Chilkiya would return to the city, his wife used to come out to greet
him wearing nice clothes and jewelry.  Her intentions were to look
attractive for her husband.  A person can, and should, always try to look
presentable.  The main thing is to keep in mind the verse "...what is it
that Hashem asks of you, but to act justly, love kindness and to walk with
Tzniut with Hashem your G-d."

Sources:
o  Tractate Berachot 24a.
o  Mishna Berura 75.
o  Micah 6:8.
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