OHR SOMAYACH'S ASK THE RABBI 
Issue #267, February 12, 2000 
Parshat Terumah
=====================================
In this issue:
YES, YOUR HONOR 
CANOPIES MADE FROM CAN O' PEAS
YIDDLE RIDDLE
PUBLIC DOMAIN
=====================================

YES, YOUR HONOR

From:  Name@Withheld

Dear Rabbi,
Should one accept the Valedictorian award  (an award for the best 
academic work) when offered to him by his school?  On one hand, 
it says in the mishna (Avot 4:28) that "jealosy, lust and honor 
remove a person from the world."  But I once read that at times it 
is proper for a person to accept an award given to him.  Thank you 
very, very much.

Dear Name@Withheld,

There's a difference between pursuing honor and accepting honor.

Jealosy, lust and honor remove a person from this world by 
capturing his focus.  By pursuing these ends, his aim eventually 
becomes the fulfilment of the jealously, lust, or honor.  At that 
point, the person no longer is using this world for that which it was 
created -- to come closer to G-d.

Receiving honor will not in and of itself remove a person from the 
world, unless from there he is pulled into pursuing it.

Sometimes it is particularly proper to accept an honor.  When a 
specific honor is useful for your future (for example, to help you 
get a job), then the acceptance is considered a normal part of the 
effort involved in achieving that particular goal.

Receiving honor can also be an inspiration for others to do good.  
For example, when one donates money to a charitable 
organization, allowing the donation to be known will inspire others 
to do similar good deeds.  (Note:  One should not publicize a 
charitable gift without the consent of the recipient.)

Sometimes one's honor will give pride to his parents.  Through 
this, one can fulfil the mitzvah (commandment) of honoring one's 
parents.

If you were the one offered the Valedictorian award, 
congratulations!  Unless your sole purpose is to have more and 
more honor heaped upon you, accepting the honor is fine.  The 
right attitude is not to think of the honor as an end in itself, but 
rather as a means to an end.

************

CANOPIES MADE FROM CAN O' PEAS

From:  Minda <ione98@hotmail.com>

Dear Rabbi,
I will be married in a little more than a year.  Recently I have been 
to many weddings in which the marrying couple made their own 
chuppah (wedding canopy).  While I have been encouraged to rent 
a chuppah, I thought this was very impersonal.  Unfortunately, I 
have found little in the way of construction instructions, and the 
ones I have found seemed very odd (including a metal, three- 
poled version).  Are there certain requirements for construction 
that I should consider?  Thank you!


From:  Pollyana in Reykjavik, Iceland <polly_ana@hotmail.com>

Dear Rabbi
In the Bible I read about people getting married but I don't find 
any description of the ceremony.  I want to know why we have a 
wedding ceremony like it is today and if there is any written 
document where I can read about it.

Dear Minda and Pollyana,

A chuppah is a piece of cloth draped over four poles.  The only 
real "requirement" is that it be big enough for the bride and groom 
to stand under and that there be room for the bride to circle the 
groom.

One way to make the chuppah more personal would be to decorate 
an existing one.  You could cover it completely with your own 
decorations to the extent that you won't even be able to see the 
original one!

The Torah (Bible) is approximately 3% written and 97% 
explanation, given by G-d to Moses on mount Sinai!  That's why 
there's so little written about the actual wedding ceremony in the 
Bible.  For info on the Jewish wedding ceremony, visit our 
website: http://www.ohr.org.il/judaism/articles/wedding.htm

An excellent book on the subject is Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan's "Made 
in Heaven" (Moznaim Publishers).

=====================================

YIDDLE RIDDLE

Last week, we asked:  Can you name two different occasions when 
Rosh Chodesh will fall during the coming week, yet no Shabbat 
Mevorachim prayers are said on the preceding Shabbat?

Answer:  

1) (The easy one) The Shabbat before Rosh Hashana, which is the 
Shabbat before Rosh Chodesh Tishrei.  

2) When Rosh Chodesh falls on Shabbat and Sunday, the 1st day 
Rosh Chodesh is the Shabbat.  Despite the fact that there will be a 
Rosh Chodesh that coming week (the 2nd day on Sunday), 
Shabbat Mevorachim will not be said on Shabbat, as they were 
said the previous week!

             Riddle by Dani Wassner, Ministry of Industry and Trade,
               Jerusalem <dani@moit.gov.il>

HEY!  SEND YOUR RIDDLES TO INFO@OHR.ORG.IL

=====================================

THE PUBLIC DOMAIN
Comments, quibbles, and reactions 
concerning previous "Ask-the-Rabbi" features

Re:  Yiddle Riddle: (http://www.ohrnet.org/ask/ask265.htm#YR)

Your recent Yiddle Riddle stated that there is no shalom zachor 
(birth celebration) when Yom Kippur occurs Friday night, as 
eating and drinking are forbidden.  This is incorrect.  On Yom 
Kippur there is a "besamim (spice) shalom zachor."  I attended one 
a few years ago.  On the way home from shul (synagogue) you 
visit the parents' home, where they have set out various spices in 
silver or other spice cases.  You say the bracha (blessing) over the 
spices "borei minei besamin (blessed is the One who creates all 
kinds of spices)" and wish the family mazal tov.

 Michael Hochheiser, Oak Park, Michigan <crown@enquest.com>

Re:  Affirmations (http://www.ohrnet.org/ask/ask265.htm#Q2):

Regarding the person who wrote regarding affirmations, I only 
suggest that the affirmation be phrased in the present tense.  For 
example:  "I, Joe Smith, AM (not "will become") a great soccer 
player."  Thank you, Rabbi, for answering all our questions.  I look 
forward to OHRNET every week.

                               Bob Burg, Jupiter, Florida  <BBurg@aol.com>

Hungry For Ohrnet 
(http://www.ohrnet.org/tw/5760/shmos/beshalac.htm#Q1):

I enjoyed your explanations of Parshat Beshalach, especially the 
way you tied the miracle of the manna to the concerns about world 
hunger.  I've been involved with Torah study for 12 years at 
Congregation Sha'aray Shalom in Hingham,  Mass.

                                    Robert Miller <rkm902342@mediaone.net>

Re:  Hard Issues (http://www.ohrnet.org/ask/ask265.htm#Q1):

I truly admire your answers on various difficult issues (aguna, 
intermarriage, etc.) and the sensitivity with which you approach 
these issues without compromising your position.

               David Benjamin, NY <David_Benjamin@gmaccm.com>
=====================================
Our scholars answer over 100 queries every 
day.  
For donations click on:
https://www.virtual.co.il/secure/ohrsomayach
/donate/donate.htm  
or write to us at info@ohr.org.il 
=====================================
If you like this e-mail, share it with a 
friend.
=====================================
E-Mail your questions to info@ohr.org.il   
=====================================
EVERY question EVER published in ASK THE 
RABBI is available on-line in an easy-to-use 
index!    
http://www.ohr.org.il/web/index/askidx.htm   
=====================================
Ohr Somayach's other e-mail publications:
Ohrnet, Torah Weekly, Parsha Q&A, Ask the 
Rabbi, The Weekly Daf, Seasons of the Moon, 
OS-Special, Torah and Nature, Judaismo, 
Judaismo-p, Light Lines, Ohrnews, Simcha, 
OS-Alum. 
To subscribe, write to info@ohr.org.il
=====================================
IF YOU WANT TO UNSUBSCRIBE from this list, 
send the message:
unsubscribe ask to: listproc@vjlists.com 
=====================================
Dedication opportunities available for ASK 
THE RABBI!   
Please contact us for details.   
=====================================
General Editor: Rabbi Moshe Newman   
Production Design: Eli Ballon
=====================================
ASK THE RABBI is written at   
Ohr Somayach Institutions / Tanenbaum 
College   
22 Shimon Hatzadik Street, POB 18103    
Jerusalem 91180, Israel    
Tel: 972-2-581-0315 Fax: 972-2-581-2890    
E-Mail:  info@ohr.org.il   
Home Page: http://www.ohrnet.org 
=====================================
(C) 2000 Ohr Somayach International r 
All rights reserved.
